Election Day

I don't usually name names but I live in a country and you know which country that is. Therefore you would already know who's running for Prime Minister. I can't say I was too excited about voting, but my girlfriend made a big deal about it. Funny thing was, I think she just wanted to vote for the sake of voting. Before we'd looked into the parties and decided who we should best vote for, it seemed like she was ready to pick her poison and check a box.

After some thought, I decided I didn't really like the direction Canada has turned in the last 10 years. You know, that's half my life right there. That direction is the effect of Liberal control. It's the Liberals who'd lifted the tuition freeze on my University and caused me to pay 100s of % more $$$ than people years before me. I heard people used to be able to attend school at $300 a semester. Myself, taking 5 courses with respective labs, I pay $1400+.

Back to politics. Liberals are going to get what they deserve. The Conservative group, well, the guy looks like he's wearing a plastic mask and too much mascara. That and he wants to turn our country into a war-manger like our constituents to the south. They want to fight our wars, that's great, let them. We've got them to fight our wars for us.

NDP. Good old NDP, they raised minimum wage by almost $1 back when I first started working. That was great, I like you NDP. Now please, do something about my tuition and you've got my vote.

-New Canada

What is there to say?

Not much motivation today, it's been a sleepy time lately. I've finished writing my program, at least most of it, mostly. I've still got a couple things to do with it, like.... wait a minute. I probably haven't really explained all of what the program does.

Here's the poop:

I was 'contracted' by a professor of mine to program a simulation for her. She, herself, was hired by Agri-Foods Canada (a goverment agency) to come up with a mathematical model of codling moths and their behavior with and without traps. I haven't actually seen or heard anything of her research but I trust she's been doing her job. Insofar, I've been doing mine.

Back on topic, my professor hired me to write a model of the moths and their behavior in the presence and non-presence of pheromone traps. Starting around the second week of May, I've now nearly completed the program.

The moths I've created in the program respond to pheromone plumes created by the traps I've created. The traps are placed in a networked fashion across a grid of specified length and width. You can choose to place the traps every 100 'meters' or '50' or any other number you may come up with, providing it is a whole number.

The traps dispense pheromone, which reacts accordingly with the weather about it. If the wind is blowing from the east to the west, the pheromone is stretched to the left, the trap placement is no longer centered in the pheromone; the pheromone is now placed farther to the left of the trap. The area remains the same regardless the shape of the pheromone.

Moths, when in a pheromone plume, sniff out areas of higher concentration. If they are interested, the moth then moves itself to occupy a space of higher concentration. The test continues until the moth has either found the trap or 'escaped' the pheromone plume.

If a moth maneuvers its way to a trap it then runs the test to see if it becomes trapped or not. To be as accurate to life as possible, the program still needs to be tweaked so only about %5 of the moths actually get trapped. Then we as researchers can tweak the strength of the trap and experiment with that.

-I've lost my train of thought

I'm a freaking clown

Chock up another one for the clutz life. My girlfriend just had me file her feet, and like a good boyfriend I agreed to do it. So I'm filing away, periodically knocking the collected dust off the file. I figure this is how I'm supposed to be doing it, and I was right, she does the same. However, the file has never snapped in half when she's ever used it. Yeah, the file was waiting for me to handle it before it called the penalty and snapped in half with a tell-tale 'snap' (literative, aren't I).

I laughed and joked about it. She got mad, then started laughing herself. Composure regained, though, she told me she didn't want to laugh. Now she's pissed (not really, but she has to act some way and it won't be in my favor). It's not going to be a good night tonight.

Maybe it would have gone better if I hadn't...

-broken a plate while washing dishes this afternoon

G-Mail

I just activated my G-Mail account. It's pretty nifty (Google is going to get their advertising worth out of me). 'baaad seplling werd' typed in and click "check spelling" red underlines all the mispelled words. When you click a word, a list pops up with suggestions as to the correct spelling. That is a very nifty feature, rather than going through one word at a time.

So my blog e-mail address is now changed to my G-Mail

-More as the mail comes in

I'm a clutz

You'd think my feet were skis and I had a tire around my belly and my hands were made of unfeeling metal.

-Just thought you'd like to know

Late night mind-not-sleeping-ness

I'm laying in bed and my mind is just not shutting off. Now is as good a time as any to share my thoughts. First of all, I'd really like to thank my Dad for always supporting me and taking an interest in what I'm interested in. You listened to me rave about my scuba classes. You helped me out with my first (and subsequently only) guitar and amp and gig-bag. You're the reason I graduated in the top 10 percent of my highschool class. And now, thank you for supporting me with my programming. You bought me a book and saved me money, and now I can bring myself to the next level. This is early, but happy father's day.

Next off, I was laying in bed thinking about my long-term gaming project. I did tell you it was a game I've been working on, I believe. Forget about the moths, I've been doing the game longer. School, and now work, have taken away the time I'd use toward it, but I learn more every day. I learn more through work and through theory, and I make my game a little more in my head each day. The book my Dad has bought me will greatly boost me.

Second, how about that Interplay thing? Crazy, really. I've been reading IGDA's Quality of Life White Paper and BAM here's a prime example of what you really need to watch for. I hope Interplay makes a comeback, but what the hell is this not paying employees for a month business. The rent is past due, employees don't have health insurance and you still owe Bioware over $150k for Baldurs Gate. Good on you for thinking positively, though. Come back and maybe you can hire me.

-This life or the next. You know, whenever you come around to it

Creator of Worlds!

I did it! The last few days at work here I'd been trying to have my trap objects and moth objects coincide with each other on the same plane of existence. I'd become very frustrated when my program either didn't run or everything did what it was supposed to do but with blobbing. Blobbing being the moths leaving a trail behind them. They should be just a dot on the grid flying around, however they felt the need to leave a line behind them everywhere they flew.

I have, however, managed to have my traps and moths coexist together happily. They'd done it before, but the traps were simply values on a lower-layer grid. The moths read the values on the lower layer grid, while flying about. Any grid position with a value 0 was seen as the ground. Any value of 1 was seen as a trap, and the moth promptly committed suicide. The Observer layer drew any spot of value 1 as a yellow square, for human viewing purposes. Now there are no more values. We have trap objects.

The benefit of trap objects: They can count the number of moths that have become 'trapped' inside them. Trap objects can relay their position on the grid and any other piece of relevant information that may later be thought of. This makes me quite happy, and less frustrations now.

I lied a little, though. At the moment, the trap objects only work as a thing that's in the way. They don't trap moths yet, the moths just don't run into the same square as a trap. But I am a creator of worlds and I can have them do what I want.

-Destroyer of worlds, too

Musical Musicness

I hadn't used my MP3 player for the last 12 months because it was presumed dead. It'd play, but it kept monotonically telling me its door was open (MP3 CD Player). Staring down at it, door closed, you could understand the confusion. I gave up on it when it stubbornly decided to stop playing my tunes.

A year later I get the bright idea to poke around and find out what its problem is. It turns out, having it sit in my car on those hot summer days made a few parts extremely warm. One part in particular is the spring that holds the door open while you are replacing CDs. It had melted the plastic mount it was sitting in, which incidentally shifted to lid, preventing the player from realizing it was, in all accounts of reality, closed. Screw the spring, he's been evicted. And my player works fine again.

-MP3 goodness

I present to you

An unnamed poem (EDIT: I'd like to name the poem "Keep Digging" -WiLD2)
-By WiLD2

Once upon a long time ago
there lived a Man who owned a hole.
He dug and dug and dug each day
until the time He could finally say,
"Why was that hole I dug so deep?
I'm way down low and I've got to keep
my head on straight and my shoes on tight
as I settle down for tonight, tonight."
And He went to sleep when the very next day
He awoke again with a yawn to say,
"I'll scratch my belly and then my bum
as it appears the dawn has early come.
The question is why I've done this so
to dig myself my very own hole?
I'll lay down now, close my eyes and rave.
It appears I've dug my very own grave."

-Thank you

While at work
I've finally shown off some of my cunning lingualism. I know it'd shown a long absence. I'm at work right now, programming and such, but I had to take a break and get my mind off track. You know, for some creativity. I hope you enjoyed the poem, I found it rather witty.

-Nutty like a log after christmas

Bird Flu

When is it going to stop? There was a huge outbreak of the bird flu in the Vancouver area just over a month ago. Hundreds of Thousands of chickens were slaughtered. I think even the price of chicken dropped where I live, which is great because chicken is a necessity. And now there's chance that the new strain of bird flu found in the same area is capable of spreading to and killing humans. Here's the thought that came to mind:

Zombies.

Let me explain

In Resident Evil, Umbrella Corporation manufactured a medical mishap they called the 't-virus'. This thing, when ingested or inhaled by living flesh, turned its host into a shambling mass of murder. In George Romeros zombie films it is a virus as well. Sure, flu is a bacteria (isn't it?) but it has the means of spreading from one person to the next. All that needs to be done now is beta test the mushball strain which simply turns people catatonic. Then upgrade the mushball strain with features such as 'consume thy own flesh' and 'hunt anything with two legs and a heart-beat' and we've got the zombie strain.

-Not bad for a days work

Oh!

E3 starts tomorrow. The Electronic Entertainment Exposition in Los Angeles. Oh, how I wish I could be there.

I spent part of this morning reading about E3 and people's experiences there. To be a consumer and there it sounds like fun. To be an exhibitionist and there sounds like fun.

-to be there

On the job

I've begun work as a research assistant for the summer. It's great, I'm a 'software engineer' as my position. I'm writing a simulation in SWARM involving codling moths, and their actions based on the presence or non-presence of pheromone traps.

So I'm at work right now, on a Linux machine. I'd never used Linux before a week ago, I kind of like it. I should dual-boot my system at home with a Linux partition. You know, for Linux software and stuff. Have fun getting SWARM to work on a Windows machine, they dropped support for that years ago.

-A good guy

I should clarify

Our kitten, contrary to what I posted weeks ago, is male. We were under the impression she was a he, but Nefret is now a Loki. We kept him, rather than an exchange for a female.

-And he scratches the hell out of everything

How to do

I guess I have no idea how to clip a cat's claws. I was under the impression that as I was doing this, my purpose was to stop him from pulling threads out of our pants and to stop him from leaving nasty scratches on our arms and feet. So I cut about 1/3 of his whole claw off (roughly 1/2 of the dead-skin claw). I steared clear of the flesh under his claw, and three times I cut his nails without so much as a sound of discontent from him. Then my girlfriend offered her help, I clipped a fourth claw. He let out a disgruntled meow which freaked her out. She's upset at me now, and I've got a kitten running around playing as he normally would, which is exactly what he should be doing.

I guess I'm wrong, I wasn't supposed to cut off enough claw so he'd never break our skin or rip our clothes. I was supposed to blunt the claw, take off a fraction of a millimeter from his claw. In doing so, he'd still be able to climb, still be able to 'play with his toys' but he wouldn't be able to scratch us.

-I was wrong

I almost forgot

I went hiking up Enderby Cliffs last sunday. Follow this link for the pics.

-sunburned

Summer working

I started summer work today. It wasn't programming or anything, and I didn't even see my employer. She stayed at home because she was out until 12:30 last night setting up a display. Which leads me to tell you what I did today. The University was having an open house research expo and I was manning the Math/Stat department's display. Hey, I thought it was volunteer work but an email tells me that I'm getting paid for it. Rawxer.

I borrowed a book from the public library the other day. I had to return another, though. I was returning the Annotated Dragon Lance Chronicles, which I read before back in grades 5 to 7. I couldn't renew it any more, I suppose twice is all you can. Funny, though, when they check it back into the computer I can sign it out and start renewing it again for another total of 63 days.

Right, back to the book I borrowed. Dungeons and Dreamers: The rise of computer game culture from Geek to Chic. Great book, I highly recommend it if you're remotely into games and/or game-design. On top of that, while I was at the University library today I borrowed a couple more books. Deitel & Deitel's Java 2 text and Programming Pearls which may give me some nice reading material.

Zombies ate my fingers - I've finally watched my Night of the Living Dead DVD I got for Easter. I have to say, it's as bad as I remember, but good at the same time. The freakiest part of the movie is seeing the corpse of the house's owner upstairs in the house everyone boards themselves up in. The corpse doesn't move and you only see it twice for a second each time but it sets the atmosphere and emotion.

Speaking of zombies, I had the opportunity to watch the remake of Dawn of the Dead. I'll try not to spoil it too much. It was awesome. It holds true to zombie mythology in the way the disease is spread and shines light in new areas. Let me just say one word 'pregnancy'. It's nice to see a world going up in flames (cinemagraphically) the way the world went to hell in this movie. The car crash scene just after the woman escapes her suburban neighborhood rawked. I wish I could rewind it and watch it again (because it just shows how the world is going to hell). I could go on and on.

And have you noticed how fast zombies move these days? I think the only recent zombie movie that holds true to real zombie speed is Resident Evil. The latest movie to introduce speedy-zombies was 28 Days Later which was alright because to me those weren't bread and butter zombies. Those were rage-infused humans. The new Dawn movie had speedy zombies.
Let's look back to the original Dead series. Night was the first, and their zombies were slow-ass. Slow ass. Grandma with her walker running full force was the top speed of even the healthiest zombie in that movie. Dawn's zombies were slow, too. The remake, however, strapped roller-blades on them and let them loose on top of a hill (figuratively). No longer can Grandma with her walker outrun these beasts, until she's been bitten and comes back. The ultimate cure for back-pain, Grandma's ready for a marathon.

-another 2 cents

I have a dream!

There was snow on the ground, and I was at the home I lived at before I moved away to finish school elsewhere. Zombies is what my dream focused on. There were zombies everywhere and the scene was right out of 90's Night of the Living Dead (remake).

The zombies were being commanded by a larger minion who was searching for a ring that was being kept in the house. Violence ensued and I witnessed my Dad and neighbor dropping many-a-zombie with shotgun blasts. Have you ever seen a zombie from 5 feet away through a sliding glass door? I have, and it's awesome.

World Peace and Unity - It's just my idea that what we need to bring the world to peace is a goal all countries can work towards. So we need a zombie outbreak; then all countries can agree to set aside their differences and together annhilate the population of zombies spreading across the globe.

Good grades
I've passed 3 of my 4 classes, and that RAWKS. No more chemistry for me!!! I finally passed Math 122 and Java Programming is done like dinner. I'm still waiting for my results of Physics, but that's in the bag.

-In the bag of doom! (but that's a good thing)

Got to love those exams

I've written three of my four exams, and have confirmed that I've passed at least one of them. I'm crossing my fingers for the rest. At the moment, I'm studying for physics, which will be written at 9:30am tomorrow. An exam on a Saturday.

My girlfriend bought me Will Rock for Easter, along with the classic Night of the Living Dead (black and white. 1968) DVD!!! I've almost completed the game, I just kicked Medusa's ass. Since when can Medusa fly? And since when can you look at her in the eye? She also shoots homing fireballs at you.

-Zues Almighty

A baby

I've got one, only two days ago; Friday night. It's a feline. A kitten, and she's beautiful. Nefret is her name, which means 'The most beautiful', as in the name "Nefertari" or "Nefertiti", the egyptian queens of old.

School is finished for the year, now I just have to deal with exams. My first exam is this coming Tuesday. Java which should go over well. I just need to study. So, I'm going to study now. Yeah, I'm kinda lifeless right now but I should study anyway.

-Nefret, the black and white kitty cat

Resourcefulness

I hope I spelled that right. I know, there's spell checker and all but what's the fun in that if you can't spell words correctly yourself? And it's fun when people make fun of other people's bad spelling.

I just found a nifty article on GameDev.net about programming your own MUD (Multi-User Dungeon). Not that I'm planning on doing that any time soon, but what the hell for a read, eh?

-Hehe, I said "eh".

More language

This judges the success of skills. Based on this, however, you have a slight chance of success even if you aren't practiced in the art of that skill. However, because it's turn based (that's the idea, anyway), you don't really want to go wasting your turn just to fail an attack. This is if the highest skill level is 15, but that can be adjusted. Here goes:

int sLevel = CurrentSkillLevel;
success = ((int)(Math.random()*17);
if (success <= sLevel || success == 16) {
the skill is successful;
}
else (skill fails);

You might be wondering what the 16 is for. Well, like I said earlier, that is the small chance of success if you haven't practiced the skill at all. You get a 1 in 16 chance of success. Likewise, the greater skill level, the more chance of success.

This may also be used as a damage modifier. Up to your skill level, it multiplies the damage of that attack by:

double half = 0.5
damage (sLevel*half)+((int)(Math.random()*attack);

These are just some ideas, anyway. I think of them and want to write them down for my later reference.

Here's what I'm doing today. I'm driving to my Dad's house so he can check out my car. It's about time it has a tune-up anyway. I've been driving it for 3 years and it only get's progressively less cooperative. I'd been jump-starting my car this winter on the coldest of days because the battery wouldn't sustain itself. My MP3 player melted in the summer time and keeps telling me the cover isn't closed even though it is closed. And the tire popped on it. As well as the car doing a funny 3 steps forward 1 step back dance while driving up hill. It chugs, it really does.

-Explosive

A flat

Got a flat tire on the drive home tonight, didn't help that it was 11:30pm and had no way to see in my back trunk while looking for the necessary tools: Tire iron, spare tire (ok, that was easy to find), jack, twisty piece for jack. 20 minutes later (and an impressed girlfriend, too) it was done. Now I'm home and going to sleep.

-Bed time and well deserved

The language

Java is the language. I'm still programming away, whenever I find time. That time is usually on Tuesday and Thursday mornings between 8am and 11:15am. I get to school early on those days to program in the library, and my Programming class starts at 11:30.

Not much to talk about, I guess. I'm just up at 11:28pm because I had a stroke of genius that got me excited and I couldn't sleep. I was thinking that in a game that determines the difficulty of play based on the level that you are at would be something like this:

int level = yourCurrentLevel;
difficulty = (level-3)+((int)(Math.random()*6));


This basically says, "Ok, you're level 8? Alright. Your opponent will be any level from 3 below you (level 5) to 2 above you (level 10)." Assuming anything below 3 levels lower would be too easy and any levels greater than 2 above your current level would be too hard.
You could throw a switch or a few if statements in there to determine what happens when a random level of difficulty is selected. Like which opponent at the suitable level to face.

-Bed time now

And for the cream filling

I was virtually transperant from the online world during my first semester of school this year. As you can see from my single post in late September and my absence until this very day. I'd been busy with school, and Medievia. However, I've again stopped playing dear Medievia. It was great and all for the first couple months, but like any game you reach a point where you feel you've progressed as far as you can and thus, feeling a)victorious or b)burned out, stop playing. You move on to bigger and better things. My bigger and better things were Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (KOTOR).

GTA:VC is a great game. You have to love jacking cars and shooting guns, as well as money. That game was great fun. Was. I lost interest in the game (are you seeing a trend here?) right around the end of the game. So I moved on to KOTOR. Badass is what I have to say. I've never really had any great urge to watch any of the Star Wars movies but after playing this game I want to watch the original three movies right now. But like the other games I've played, KOTOR fell through to something else, I admit.

I've been working on a project at home since mid-December. I'm programming something in Java that should bring great enjoyment to many people. I spent an hour in the office of my Java professor yesterday afternoon going over my code and how I can improve it. Slated for an April release; I'm learning more tricks to use in the program with every class I attend.

Christmas was great. My girlfriend and I got a digital camera from her father for Christmas. It doesn't see extensive use, but we do have 100+ pictures taken since we got it. And since my birthday was just days after Christmas... hehe. My Mom and Brother bought me a 256MB Flash-Rom USB Hard-drive. I'm listening to Billy Talent here at school with WinAmp running off my hard-drive as I type this. It rawks. Thanks Mom and Brother.
On the topic of other cool stuff, my girlfriend bought me a sweet case for my computer. Follow the link and fill your shorts with envy. Thanks, hun.

-Always looking for my next entertainement fix

To read minds

I figure that if I was able to read minds, I wouldn't study as hard for test. And you know what? That would be all right. Why? Because, if I had the ability to read minds, I'd be able to know what people wanted and/or were looking for all the time. I'd know what my professor was expecting me to study; or better yet I'd know what to expect on the next quiz/test/midterm/exam. I would study only the questions on the exam, and I would ace it. And that would be fine.

After graduating with honors, I'd make it into the real world. I'd be prepared for anything in the work place. With my power to read minds, I'd have the combined knowledge of all my co-workers. I'd be a prodigy, that's what I'd be. And if I were to go on a game show, anything to do with knowledge, I'd be able to use my powers and come out on top.

You may think this is cheating; cheating == evil, but I'd have to disagree. If I have those powers, why not use them. If everyone had those powers then it wouldn't be such a big deal. Knowledge would be passed down from one person to the next, and everyone would be just as intelligent as the next. From here, society could go two ways. We either degenerate into a reliant conglomerate of false-knowledge or

-we feed on knowledge and increase our intelligence even more.

Made to feel real small

Hey, world. How are you doing? Me, I'm fine. I've returned to college, still doing my Bachelor of Science majoring in Computer Science. I'm taking Chemistry for the second time, so I'll pass it this year. Physics is fun, fairly easy to follow. The Lab for physics, though, hasn't taken much of a liking to me. At least not with one particular lab partner.

Calculus... I'm not a math person, though I try to tell myself I am to trick myself. I follow along, but find I just can't keep up. That's a class I'd actually consider dropping, but it's too late. And Java... I really like that class. That's what I'm all about, that's why I'm in school. To learn programming, and I'm having fun in there.

I live with my girlfriend, the same one from the last year. Our anniversary was in August, and I got her a golden heart locket, embedded with three diamonds. Though I haven't put pictures in it because she showers with her jewelery on and won't take it off, thus the pictures would be ruined the first day. She goes to school 6 1/2 hours a day. My days generally run 7 1/2 hours, but with more breaks. Things are good, she finally redeemed her birthday present. I got her a tattoo, which she used to extend the one on her back.

I'm at home right now by myself, she's out for coffee with one of her girlfriends. I'm kinda lost as to what to do, I don't want to be here. I want to be out with her because I haven't seen her much today. She's been sick the last few days, and today especially. But she wanted to go alone.

-That's my update

So I'm playing Medievia again

I'm hunting for a dragon, and I got what I asked for. But then he started hunting me...

<191hp 456m 454mv 74br>
A large black dragon has arrived.

<191hp 456m 454mv 80br> w

A large black dragon begins chanting arcane words of magic and points a finger at you.

A large black dragon eviscerates you!
You reel in shock from the sudden blood loss!
A large black dragon chants the magical phrase, 'Por Flam'
You are enveloped in flames from a large black dragon's fireball.
You burn to death in the maelstrom of magical flame.
You have been KILLED!!

[CLAN] Cimn has BEEN KILLED!
You're dead now. You can't move or speak. The world becomes black and your
head turns inside out with pain. Unable to scream or move, your senses are
overwhelmed with agony and terror. Finally, an escape! You feel released,
lighter than air, nothing but pure consciousness hovering over the hellish
pain of your corpse.


<0hp 456m 454mv 92br>
-Lie still; you are DEAD.

Good Super Fun Happy Summer Fun Time
Summer is just about over, which means... Good stuff to come. I've secured an apartment to move into September first, with my girlfriend of one year. We're both going back to school, which will be great. It's her first year of college, and I take a small part in getting her there. I've been working in a small grocery store since April, and today I gave them my 2 weeks notice. Hooray for holiday pay and good references.
-Boom Boom

Check one two
ok
-Keeping this thing alive

Another Bomb Dropped

Things'll work out soon.

-The end of the beginning

Happy Easter

My girlfriend and her family had an excellent easter day. She made it special for me, and I hope I made it just as special for her.

My grades are all completed, I passed everything. I've got 69% in English, 56% in Japanese II and 54% in Calculus.

-Yay, me

Results

I got the results for my calculus exam yesterday. 33% on the final. 51% overall. Not too proud of mysef there, but at least I passed and can move on to Calculus 2.

-Happy guy, really I am

Good Times

What a great show; I mean, who doesn't like the Fonz? Yeah, you're right, I'm talking out of my ass. Oops, I mean, people actually like Fonzie. And, no, this is not what I'm here to write about.

I have my first exam of my last semester of my first year of college tomorrow. Calculus I. Starts at 1pm, and I'm ready. My girlfriend cooked up a little 'good luck'/appreciation package to send home with me, complete with a playboy bunny sticker sealing the bag. I'm ready for Calculus. Oh yes, I'm ready.

-She wishes me luck

Everything has significance

Janice, a girl across the hall from me in the dorms, just asked if I was going home this weekend. I told her "no", and she asked if my girlfriend was coming out here instead. "I don't know. She was supposed to, but I'm not sure now". Janice says, "Oh, undeclared. Well, just give her time, you've got a whole afternoon to work things out".

It's almost like she's a prophet, someone who can tell the future. I hope she's right.

First Timer

WTFFFFFFFFFARGFWTFGDF

School sucks. You (school) take my time and attention, you stress me out over tests. Finals are coming up, and I've got homework due... and I freak out at my girlfriend because of you. She's the most important thing to me right now, I'm getting shit organized with her. School can be done at any time in my life, my girl only comes around once in a lifetime. I don't want to fuck it up with her, I want it to work.

Defeated

I really like my girlfriend

She's the greatest, and I feel as though I haven't been doing my part to make her feel like she's the greatest. So if you're reading this, sweetie, you are special.

Like two Tetris-L's

Book Store

While walking by the campus book store on my way to the cafeteria, I stopped to look at a display of books. I was there for only a minute, but in that time an old man, probably 60+ years of age, stopped by as well. He glanced over the books and said to me, "What, no porno?" and he walked off.

eww

I had it in my head

But I've forgotten what I was going to write about :-/

Maybe another day

She said it

Tonight as we got off the phone, she said "buh-bye" :D :D :D

hehe

Like a Virus

Morrowind has caught on to third floor simmy like a Virus. There's 7 people altogether playing Elder Scrolls 3 on this floor, all in different stages of completion. I've almost finished the main quest. I'm close to being at the top of the Imperial Guard. I'm almost the leader of the Fighter's Guild, and I've just started doing quests for the Mages Guild. I've gone crazy with enchantments, and have gone so far as to own Azura's Star, so I can use the gem all I want. Level 30 Bosmer Acrobat, that's me. 109 strength with my +24 constant effect fortified strength. And 261 intelligence with my two Fortify Intelligence 100 for 15 seconds rings. Wheee.

I miss Neverwinter Nights :( My friend still hasn't returned it, and it's been 7 months. NwN, oh how I miss you.

Come back

I had a great weekend

OK, so maybe it wasn't the greatest weekend, I never even so much as left the house. Friday, I show up at my girlfriend's house around 5:15pm. I didn't leave the property until around 7:30pm Sunday night (this evening). To me, it's still Sunday, I'm still awake. My sweetie is in bed behind me, I'd be there too, except I don't feel welcome. That's why I'm here, fscking writing away in my blog. Hello, blog.

My sea-monkeys grew over the weekend; they grow fast.

The weekend wasn't bad, not at all. I got my homework done, instead of waiting until Thursday night to start it. I finished playing Eternal Darkness on my GameCube. I started playing Phantasy Star Online Episode 2, again, and finally got through the hunter trials, and beat the first boss on Gal Da Val (the planet you visit).

Dammit, I don't want to be here right now, I want to be in bed. I hate this, I know I didn't do anything wrong. And she's going to read what I'm typing right now, probably, when she wakes up tomorrow. I'm the nicest person you could meet, I've been told that by a number of people, though I hardley choose to believe it. And for that, when I have the slightest bit of attitude/tone in my voice: it's the end of the world. All I've wanted was some attention, that's why I go visit her on weekends. To get away from school (and subsequently homework). Maybe that's what I was craving tonight: attention. And I thought I was doing a good job at requesting it, too. Between caressing her arm, then her knee, then even going so far as massaging her neck... all while she was playing Tetris. Maybe I should turn up the volume on my cries of "notice me". Maybe I should just quit my bitching.

-Here's my story, a bitter anthem
Something Corporate - If You C Jordan

Inspired

I studied and studied and studied last night (Tuesday night) all 25 kanji for my japanese quiz. I had the names down, the stroke order and the english translation for all of them. I wasn't failing that test (and I don't believe I did, either).

I installed Morrowind, again, and am now playing it for the second time. Maybe this time I'll actually make it a little farther than Caldera.

I have Sea-Monkeys, they are the shiznit. Currently 3 days old, you've gotta love them.

-That was inspiration

"Yeah my girlfriend"

She's great, she does everything for me. From keeping me from spending all my money at once, to making sure I've been fed, to tidying up my room. She's great. And I always manage to do something that throws it all into a tailspin. I'm sorry I screw up once in a while, I don't mean to hurt or upset.

She's laying in bed behind me right now, we're at my dorm room at college. I've lived here since the first week of September, and she's visited off and on since then, as well. I look behind me and I see her beautiful face; she's sleeping. Last night I didn't cuddle with her; at one point she even went so far as to tell me not to touch her. I didn't like the events of last night. I hope they don't happen again. I hope tonight I can cuddle her.

I look around my room, there's empty pop (soda) cans every where. She bought them for me, and she helps me drink them. I look up on the top shelf of my desk, there's her grad photo. Beside that, two carnations she bought me the weekend before last. What is holding the water the carnations are in? the juice jug she brought for me from her house. Her glasses are on the top of the desk where I'm at, beside my mouse and keyboard. They're plastic framed, a feminine buddy-holly style. She looks great in them. Beside my desk is my small bar-fridge. Written on the fridge in huge letters constructed of magnetic poetry are the words "MISS YOU!" with a cute heart for the i on miss. On top of the fridge is a tissue box; on the bottom of the box, written in black permanent marker, is "[Me] + [Her] = heart". On top of my fridge sits my computer tower; on top of my computer is the picture of the both of us sitting on Santa's lap at the mall. Beside the Santa picture are two cards. One from her for my birthday. Another from her she gave to me because she wanted me to know that she does care about me.

When my girl's not here, I've got so much to remind me of her. She leaves her shower-sandals here (you need sandals for the showers here), and her shower puff. She wrote, on my phone, "[Me] * [Her]". I'd tell her every day that I miss her, but she's already informed me that is too much. It kills me to not be able to tell her how I feel every time we talk. And now she's sleeping behind me, on the bed, in my tiny dorm room. I'm sorry I say the wrong things some times. She didn't get any sleep last night because of me, and she's slept all day since.

-Yours

Gotta love it

Funny relationship quirk: it really happens
Her: Cuddle Me
Me: *cuddles*
{5 minutes later}
Her: Stop cuddling, you're too |insert complaint here|.
Me: *Stopped cuddling*
{5 minutes later}
Her: Why aren't you cuddling?

-And I love it

How Could I?

Wow, I don't know how I could have skipped writing about how great my Christmas break was. Friday, December 13 was my last exam. It was 3 hours long, and I was already at my girlfriend's house by the time the exam ended... she lives over an hour away from my home. From December 13 to January 5 I saw her every day. I was at her house every day. I spent every night except 4 or 5 at her house. We didn't get sick of each other. It was the best Christmas break I'd ever had (no offence to my parents of course).

For Christmas I got her a toe ring, a Nora Roberts romance novel (Midnight Bayou), a 1 hour whole-body massage and a fleece bath robe. Everything she didn't know she asked for. She spoiled me, too. Chocolates, towels (I really needed towels). Candles (yes, I like to burn things). More chocolates. Shower stuffs. Things I needed, and she really took care of me.

My birthday is four days after Christmas, as well, so we did that thing, too. She really made that special, like it was a seperate occasion from Christmas. My presents weren't even wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper (I know, Mom. Sometimes you'd wrap mine in birthday wrapping paper, too). My honey had a birthday cake baked for me. I blew out every candle (20, one for good luck) except one. I tried to leave one left burning, you know, the number of girlfriends thing. That was at her place, where her parents even gave me a birthday present. Spider-man special edition DVD. woot.
We ate dinner at Kelly O'Bryans restaurante. She bought me my first drink, a "snowball" which I thought was appropriate seeing how it's all winter season and stuff. I got money from my Dad, I got a really nice present from my sweetie. A 21" silver necklace, really nice looking. It's shiny. After dinner, my Dad went to his girlfriend's house, while me and mine went back to my Dad's house. I had a great birthday.

New Years was excellent, too, though I'm easily pleased. We had her parent's house all to ourselves; they were at a party with her little brother in tow. So we drove into town, rented "Enough" and "The Others" on DVD then came back home. "Enough" was the best movie to watch with her. It kept her in suspense and holding/squeezing my hand often. If anyone else could recommend other movies like that, I'd appreciate it. I'm thinking "Signs". So we counted down the time on my GameCube with Animal Crossing, then went back to watching the movie. I downed a mickey of "Fireball" whiskey, then we went to bed. Another very nice night.

-Tailor Made

Myths

I dislike junk mail in my email inbox. Hear me rant:
.Bill Gates will not give you any part of his money if you send that email to 5 people before you feel the urge to lick your lips.
.Bonsai Kittens are not real. Look on the page for ordering information! The "Credit Card payment" has been "coming soon" for years.
.You can not, no matter how much you believe, get good luck in money/love/career if you send an email to 10 of your friends.
.Nobody is donating $0.01 per forwarded email to starving children in that third world country they made up.

-There's more, but why

Another While

I'm back at the dorms now, my first class is 10:30am tomorrow... Japanese 2. Hoorah :P :P :P

I should get to sleep now, and I feel bad already for not being in bed. I was going to get to bed early tonight, and my girlfriend knew that. She just called while I was on my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and she called to surprise me... or check up on me, whatever. Either way, it's nice. She called to say goodnight, that she was in bed and about to go to sleep. I guess it kind of ruined the surprise when I wasn't in bed yet, myself. So I feel bad for that, it was a nice gesture on her part.

-Ever the guy

Late Night Schwa

I've written 4 of 5 exams, with the stunning conclusion arriving 9am Friday morning of the 13th. I checked my current finals grades, only Japanese has been graded. 65% final, not something I can complain about. What can I say, my expecations for myself haven't been as high as they were in highschool. Not since I've realized just how many people are smarter than me.

Soon... I'll be on holidays. Hooray for boobies.

-Mmm, chocolate

Exams'n'Stuff

Monday was my last official day of school. Tuesday offered a Japanese oral interview with the professor. Tuesday night was three hours of review on Calculus, in preparation for the re-test on Thursday. Wednesday had me waking up at 7:40am to get to class early and study for the 8:30am Philosophy re-test. Nothing else happened for the rest of the day.

My girlfriend had been visiting here since Monday night, I had seen her during the weekend at her place since Friday night. She's gone back home now, and it's now 2:38am Thursday morning. I've got some sleeping to catch up on for the calculus re-test tonight. I need a 70% or better on that to bring up my grade to something half respectable. This college thing is harder than I'd thought.

-Ever the unprepared

Bi-Monthly

School's kept me busy as of late, and I've hardly found a break at all from this homework. But I found one none-the-less... and I rewarded myself for finding said break. I bought Phantasy Star Online Episode 1 & 2 for my GameCube. Lem'me tell ya: It rawxors my boxers.

My girl's doing good, we went to the bar last night. Well... she went to the bar without me and I showed up, miraculously. See, my ID (Drivers License) says I'm 18 years old. But I was still allowed into the bar, somehow, and I met up with my girlfriend. Now I'm back home, at the dorms. This sucks, I've got another week of school ahead of me. Two, actually, before school is out altogether. Then two weeks of exams (5 exams in those two weeks).

Our three month anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks; now I need a present. And my honey's going to be spending this coming weekend at the dorms here. And the following weekend... well, let's just say her parents are going to be out of town. Whether or not they let us stay there remains to be told, but either way, it should be a good 3 month anniversary.

-I'm out

And it flows

Today wasn't a particularly bad day. I went shopping this afternoon, after my three morning classes. Spent $53 (would have been $70 more if I had bought Mario Party 4 on impulse) on very little stuff. My electric shaver died yesterday, so I had to buy razors. $20 later for a Mach 3 Turbo +razors and I was set... to cut my face up. It's been forever since I've shaved with a razor, and I'm out of practice.

I visited my girlfriend for the last 30 minutes of my break. Things were good, we sat around for a while. Kay, it kinda sucked, but I showed up with a good mood and I left with a good mood. Came back to school, sat through my hour of Chem. Saw my latest quiz result: 6 of 18. Dammit >_<

I went back to the hospital after my class and took my babe out for dinner. Well, she paid, so I guess she took me out. However, she was stressed out from the nurses at the hospital being complete dumbasses. Attempting to give her her meds well before the allowed time; telling her she had a limited amount of time before she had to be back in the hospital, etc. But we made the best of our time out.

We ate Subway on the beach, then drove over to (Arg, just got off the phone with her. The nurses fscked up again) Future Shop and bought 50 blank CDs. I drooled over all the computer/game stuff I want and Mel decided I'm not allowed in the store again. From there we went to Wal-Mart and looked at the CDs she wants. Then to various stores around the mall. I found a Spiderman shirt in the kids section, Regular $14.99, sale $9.99 and today's sale of 30% off all sale items. It came out to $7.50, but my debit card wouldn't work, so Mel paid for it. I owe her.

We went back to Walmart, bought Snakes and Ladders, then headed back to the hospital. The damned nurse she had for the night tried giving her her meds two hours early, which is a big no-no. That'll bring her to toxic levels. The nurse said she'd come back later. Another nurse came in to do the routine morning/night check-up on how she's feeling. I always get kicked out of the room at this time, and I hate not knowing what's going on. I came back, she was quiet again. All the dumbass nurses were weighing her down and she was getting stressed by it. She snapped at me, and I replied sarcastically. We both apologized, then laid there for a while.

Mel couldn't take it anymore, and she sent me home. So I went to a friend's house just one minute down the street, waiting for her call. She called me back, then told me she was frustrated with the hospital and not me.

She just called a few minutes ago and said that the nurse who gave her her meds tonight screwed up again. She didn't get the toby tonight, the nurses all swear she did. So the supervising nurse is going to have an earful tomorrow.

-Shit hits the fan, and I'm feeling it

M-M-M-Monster Stress-ess-ess

Big fight with the girlfriend two nights ago. Made it up last night (in the hospital where she's been for the last week, and will be for the next two).

I had a chem quiz last Friday. I felt I did really good on it. I thought it was out of 14, and I thought I scored at least 12. I just checked my grade, it says 6/18 so GOD DAMMIT.

-arg

She Possesses

I called her, she told me she was just about to call me because she was just leaving Justin's place and couldn't talk inside there. Here's the timeline (minus what time it all happened):

*Gets home, calls me, says she's going out drinking. Will call me later
*Goes to bar, drinks, drives to house #1
*House #1 is Louis' house. She worked with Louis over the summer. He's harmless now, but a month and a half ago he was concidered a threat
*Sits at Louis' and has one drink. She doesn't leave the couch until her entourage is ready
*Goes to House #2
*House #2 is Cam's house, but he's not home. They leave for House #3
*House #3 is Justin's house. She calls me and has the conversation below (not word for word)
*She has a few more drinks and then goes to bed
*Mike is in the room with her. She tells him to get the hell out
*|| Mike, I'm not sleeping with you. Get out || Then why the hell are you here? || I've got a boyfriend, get out ||
*She sleeps alone (See, I trust her, just not that asshats she was with)
*Mike comes in in the morning, she kicks him out once again
*He comes back around 10 and is rejected a third time
*She sleeps until noon, when I called her. She was about to leave and call me.

I started my end of the conversation with "I might sound like a total ass when I say this but what happened last night?" and she went off about her night. When she heard how I felt about what went on, she apologized and told me she felt bad for making me feel that way. So it was all good. She sounds sincere to me, and I'll get to see her tomorrow. She didn't sound like she was hiding anything, or that she was pissed off or that she wasn't herself.

-Soap Opera of my Life

The Possessive Word

I couldn't sleep last night. My girlfriend went home, after spending every night with her since Friday. She told me she'd call me when she got home, to let me know she made it safe. And that she'd call me later that night so we could talk. Then the good-bye kiss, and she was off.

She called around 6:30pm, told me she was home. We chatted for a couple minutes and were about to get off the phone. I quickly threw in "Were you still going to call me later?" and she replies "I don' t know, I'm going out drinking". That's alright, I knew she'd call me later anyway.

She called at 9:30pm, the first thing she says is "I'm going to be sooo drunk tonight". Wait wait wait. Let me back this up a bit. Here's the premise. Mike, this guy who worked with her for a month, is in town visiting Justin, his friend who my girlfriend worked with for 4 months. Justin got Mike a job at the same place her and Justin worked at. Mike's in town visiting, and wanted to hang out with my sweetie. He does, fortunately, know she's got a boyfriend.. me. Not that that's threatening or anything, he's never seen me.

So she says "I'm going to get sooo drunk tonight" || I say, "Are you drunk right now?" || No, I've only had two drinks || OK, are you still at the bar? || Nope, I'm going to Justin's house || How are you getting home tonight? || I'm staying at his house. Don't worry, he's got a wife and kids || And is Mike there? || Yes || Is Mike a good guy? || Yeah, and he's 30+ years old anyway. Don't worry about him. Do you trust me? || Hell yeah, I don't trust him, though || Are you ok with this? || I'm as good as I'm going to get || K, I'll call you tomorrow after I get off work. 7pm || Are they all good people? No Sheldons there? (Sheldon is this cheating asshole who took advantage of Mel once upon a time) || No, no Sheldons. || OK, have fun tonight. (A few times in the conversation I told her to have fun tonight). || I'll call you tomorrow

So now I'm calling her. Right now, it's 12 and her phone is free for an hour, so it won't charge her minutes. She has to wake up to go to work at 1pm anyway. Wish me luck.

-Dumbass guy

Update Day

I called her, she called me back when she woke up. Yeah, it's an "emotional time of the month" for her, I guess. That would be why I say the wrong things (seemingly). Anyway, it's dannir fud teim.

-DANNIR FUD TEIM!!!

Always says the wrong thing

My girlfriend left her cell-phone charger here in my dorm room on Monday, when she left. She's two hours away, and I can't necessarily drive out to see her.
I should learn to say things in a positive aspect when the time calls for it. Like last night, here's the conversation:

Her: Call me tomorrow?
Me: *Remembers her cell-phone is running on limited battery. Searches a way to say this, finds it very hard* I'd call tomorrow, but your cell phone is going to die *I wait for her to offer to call me from her home phone*
Her: *nothing*
Me: *oh shit* Um, how are you feeling right now? I didn't mean it like that
Her: Why do you want to know?
Me: Because I care
Her: Here's what you just said "Call me tomorrow?" "No"
Me: Damn, I can see how that looks bad. *I didn't mean it like that at all*

-Should have said "Sure, but remember your battery is running on low"

Small Updates

Still here, doing school work. Getting better at grades. Can't stay to update.

-Doesn't sleep alone

Lacking in a bulging archive

Yeah, slow updates lately. Check out the AF+ link to the left, which is my new blog. Animal Forest (Animal Crossing) rawks.

I've got a one month "anniversary" coming up this weekend. Actually, it's Monday, and I'll be in school :( but I think I can deal with it.

-Hoorah

(French accent) Happiness is not a fish you can catch

Animal Crossing was released two days ago (September 16). I'm pumped for this game, I've been reading/researching it for the last 6 months. It's finally been brought to North America, and now couldn't be a better time. So I'ma buy the game tomorrow, after classes. I'll have to get my GameCube back from my friend, though. And I just lent it to him two days ago. Ah well, it's mine and I can get it back when I want it. I didn't drop $500+ on the 'Cube a year ago for nothing.

-Exciting gaming

Fun Filled Weekend

I'm back home now, at my dorm. Currently installing Heroes of Might and Magic IV and downloading the UT2k3 demo at the same time. Listening to "Incubus - Punk Cover - Turning Japanese". I'm booored, too. Did I mention that I'm bored? Well, I am. And I miss the company that only my girlfriend can offer. She's a whole 5 days away now =/ but she'll be here, this time, instead of me being there. If my sister is reading this: I thank you for letting both of us stay over at your place last night.

-Weekend Recap

Earlybird gets his worm... caught in his zipper

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. I thought that was a rather clever play of words, too. It's 7:45am and I've been awake for 45 minutes. The wailing of my alarm clock, as it does most every other morning, causes an involuntary reaction that usually consists of me frantically pressing buttons in an attempt to MAKE IT STOP. Class starts in 45 minutes, and they'll all be over in 7:30 hours. 3 hours of morning classes, a two hour lunch break (that totals 5 hours) and a 2 hour class. 20 oz of coffee this morning? Yes, I think I might. Hazelnut Vanilla? Pacific Roast? Something else caffeinated?

-Anything Caffeinated

Feeling Better

Yes, I am. I'm feeling a lot better now. My first class of today starts at 2:30pm in room 230 of the Science building, my first Chemistry Lab of the year. I've memorized the first two lines of the Hiragana alphabet for my Japanese class. Tonight I'll learn the S's and T's, maybe the N's as well. I have to have every character memorized by September 27, and I think I can do it.

Tomorrow's a Friday, and my girlfriend will be in town shopping for a CD-Player with her mother. As far as I know, they are stopping at my room after I get off class, just for a look around. Friday night, though, I'll be going back out to Salmon Arm so I can spend some time with my friends and with my girlfriend. The Fall Fair starts Friday night, and we'll be going Saturday Night.

I had a headache yesterday, it was huge. My room is tiny, so my headache was the size of a tiny room, it was that big. How's that for a contridiction of terms. I had taken a couple tylenol the day before, and THE TYLENOL, IT DID NOTHING!! Ok, that was a bad joke. A friend gave me a couple Advil yesterday in the morning, and I think it might have helped. My headache is almost gone today and I feel a whole lot better. Just hope I didn't miss much from my Pre-Calc class I missed two nights ago when I skipped it to stay in my room and 'rest'.

-Good Student of Life

I forgot to mention

I drank 20 fl oz. of black Hazel-Vanilla coffee this morning. I was dead tired for my first hour-long class. Second and third class, I was so energetic I couldn't sit still. I learned how to Flip My Pen in the Faan Way. Follow the second link for cool movies. My eyes are still burning, so I'ma go now.

-Hair of the dog?

I'm sick

Godammit, my head feels like it's 3 sizes too small. My eyes are burning. I've got my thermostat set to 23*C and I have a blanket wrapped around me. If I don't wake up in the morning (knock on wood) tell my family and friends I love them. I'll wake up in the afternoon and I can tell them again, except in person.

-Soup on a stick

I'm tired

3am bed times the last couple nights, of which I should reference 3am of this morning. People are going to start wondering what I mean when I say "reference", if they haven't got it already.

I don't know if I already wrote about the "gone away to college" care package I got from Mel and Jepe. It included a pr0n magazine, playboy's college girls issue. I just read the articles. So now I'm loaded with a month's supply of food, and I've got a mickey of Vodka coming along the way, as well as the 4-pack of "Joe Stiff's Spiked Rootbeer" in my car. Good stuff, I'll be back next weekend for the Fall Fair, and hopefully have a place to sleep with, uh, yeah. Ah, look.

-I've said too much

Reference

*References Saturday, September 7, 2:25am just for the sake of referencing.

Party down the road, cars driving up and down the road and in the parking lot constantly. One car that scanned our car, couldn't see passed the foggy windows and went on. Three noisy trains driving passed the car, as well.

-My mind ran out of ink

Times

My sister once told me that I could sleep at her house when needed. Regardless of circumstances. If I'm visiting my friends and I'm just using her house, it's fine. Why? Because I'm family, she said. Now there's a problem: She's getting pissed off that I'm visiting my friends when I'm in that city. When your friends, and your sister, live almost two hours away from you then you kind of need to work it out so you visit both people at once. She does't understand that, and she has the idea that I'm only going out there for my friends, and that her house is just a convenient quickstop to sleep.

So it's 8am now, and I've been awake for an hour. Hooray =/ But tonight I'll be in Salmon Arm visiting my friends, and *not* (apperantly) visiting my sister. First class starts in 30 minutes, I should probably get my ass in gear. Back later, or not.

-hahaha, or not

Untouchable

I came home from my night class at the other college at 9:30pm. I'm hauling my guitar, other computer, blanket, dishes etc to the elevator then to my room. I round the corner to get to my room and I spy with my little eye 3 females standing at my neighbor's door chatting with him. I started with the funny talk, he came out and helped me move my junk the extra 15 feet to my room. Tonight I met 9 girls. The three that were next door, then 5 others that came crashing into one of the other girls' rooms when I was in there chatting. The 9th girl I met downstairs, and she told me there's a party in her room. I asked "Right now?" and she said "Not yet, but there will be when you get there". Then later she came to my door (she's on second floor, I'm on third) and asked if I had bottles. I mis-heard her and thought she said "balls". My one track mind... She was really cute, too, which is too bad. Yeah, too bad, because I'm happy with my girlfriend. Speaking of which, I've got a picture of my babe on my desk, so everyone can see her.

This morning (Tuesday morning, the 3rd) I went home to wash clothes and shower. Had a flat tire, so I changed that before I left school. I'd never changed a tire before, so it took me a long time. Especially when I had to lower the car after jacking it up so I could loosen the nuts, then jack it up again to replace the tire. I drove out to see Mel and spent the afternoon with her. Then drove to my Grandparents' place so I could get some computer parts. I ate dinner at my other grandparents' house, where I found out I'm goofy foot on my skateboard.

I can't do shit with the left foot out front, I can't land properly or even do an Ollie for that matter. When I tried goofy foot (right in front) I ollied my first time, so I was all "Kickass" and such.

I rambled, and now it's 12:30am. I wake up at 7:30am tomolla for an 8:30am class

-Rambler

Moved In

First off I'd like to make a mental note of Saturday night and Sunday morning, the dates of August 31 and Sept 1 respectively.

And back to current events, I'm moved into my college dorm. Good stuff, it's a tiny community of roughly 300 people in this building alone. And there's probably the same number in the other building. So I'm moved in, and my first class is 7pm tomorrow, Tuesday being the first day of school.

Don't want to wait 2 hours in a line up at FilePlanet? Just poke around your floor level until you find someone with the same file you want then leach it off his FTP. You'll have the file in 10 minutes, no wait. Anyway, it's about time for food or something, gotta keep from starving and stuff.

-Buzzing, but not from alcohol or other substances

It's been a while

...since I've been to the drive-in. We got there late, so none of "8 - Legged Freaks" made any sense. And Triple X (XXX) kicked ass because that's what it does. We had a truck to sit in and listen to the movie on a nice stereo system. Jepe and "JoeBob", Mel and I. I got home 11 minutes ago, at 1:30am, because anywhere is home even when no place feels like home.

I bought a cell phone today, so now I'm portable. I chose mobility over practicality because 1) Cell phones are CHEAP. 2) No humongous setup fees if/when I move. So I've got unlimited evenings and weekends (6pm to 8am) and 200 daytime minutes every month for 6 months. After the 6 months, it switches to 100 minutes. I've got free voice mail for 12 months and call waiting for 2 months. No contract, if I bail out it costs me $99 and I keep the phone, then I can pay as I go. The first three months are paid for already, but they kinda trick you into that. "Oh, the $119 is to buy the phone (- but what about the $99 to buy the phone again? -) and you'll get $119 credit toward your phone, so basically you get the first few months paid for". Oh well, it sounds good on paper. Heh, my Dad even bought a cell phone today with me, so we're both portable.

-There's a good theme going on here?!

Clouds on a Sunshiny Day

Still have to wax my car, I washed and vacuumed it yesterday. I'll get to the waxing on and waxing off soon, then I can shower and get my ass to town to buy a cell phone. I figure it's cheaper (but slightly more restrictive) to have a cell-phone. $50 a month for a normal phone with free evenings and weekends, or $40 for a cell phone with free evenings (an hour later than normal phone) and weekends.

-Talking terms are good

Self Titled

I had a post here but it disappeared when some other link used this window and erased all I had written. Here's my day in short:

))Played golf, got the highest score, therefor I lost.
))Spent the whole $20 I had withdrawn
))Showed friends around my house
))Mel and Jepe fell in love with my bed
))Got invited to Jepe's house this weekend because her parents will be out of town
))Mel actually invited me to Jepe's, it'll round the house occupants up to 2 couples
))Lost 25 CDs in a 24 CD Case because I drove off while it was on my car
))Couldn't find the CDs when I drove back to find them

-Another very good day

Moonlit Walk on the Beach

That's what I did last night with my babe. You know, if I would use names on my blog, it might be easier for me to type in it. Anyway, last night the two of use went to the beach and walked out to the end of the dock. We sat down, looked out over the lake. Too bad it wasn't a week earlier, I was there last monday and the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis) were flashing over the mountain tops. So we sat on the dock, my arm around her shoulder, her head on my neck. It was great; however, it got windy and waves splashed us.

We ran back to her car, got a blanket from it and went back to the beach. We sat down under a tree, my back against the tree, she sat between my legs. Progression: good. Tomorrow night we're going to "Scandia: Golf and Games" for some mini-golf. Should be fun times. I'm a very happy boy.

I stopped by Rich's Pawn Shop today (oh! I used a name?!) and he damn near sold me a $250 Electric/Acoustic Fender. Oooh, baby. If I had more money, that'd be mine RIGHT NOW. But I figure if I get my student loan; yes, the loan... if I get it soon enough, I might treat myself to the guitar with what little money I have left over from work, and my loan can cover the rest of it.

-Life is goooood

By the end of the night

I talked to my girl tonight and 'whoooo' everything is alright. She threatened me and said 'Hey, I better see you tomorrw because Iw ante to see you otmorrow' so I might just have to make an effort to drive 90 Km out to see her tomorrow. She siad that she had to see me becaue I got her excited, whatever that means. but it'll be fun, I'm sure.

Yea, fi you're wondering about my sepelling, it's from my "cheap drunk" factosr thinger that' s going on right now. 1/3 my micey of vodka, I finished toingith in 3o miinutes and it hit me hard. That was an hour and a half ago, but I'm feeling all "wheee" now. So tomorrow I'll drive out to see my sister drive in a demolistion derby and then I'll go see mah girl. Good fun, yeehah and all that funs tuff.

-I beat my cousin, the pool (billiards) pro in 8-ball today. Yay me

The day of the party

People are here now, and it's not even 4pm. Hooray for watching 40+ year olds sit around and drink alcamahol. Just so long as they don't block me in my own driveway... I might want to get out of here later. My GameCube is being played upstairs. Freaking $6+ for a 3 day game rental. I played the game, and it sucks; it's supposed to be a party game but it's no Dr Mario so I can't get the hang of it.

-Mindless rambling

In all seriousness

Yep, seriousness is the good and bad news. Well, not really bad as everything is a two way street. She likes me, and wants to see me again, and she asked me to phone her tonight. But, as for the seriousness: she likes me and she warned me that if we were to start dating each other, she takes it very seriously. I asked if "serious" means she is the jealous type who always wants to know where you are. She corrected me and says she's the kind of person who likes to spend time with her "other" as much as possible. After hearing that, I was trying to hide my enthusiasm but I think I came across as giggly.

The minor bad news is that I'll be living an hour and a half from her house when I start school. Though, that's the two way street analogy and she said that she can always drive as well. So we'll see how things go in the next week or two or even through all of September before things begin to happen.

I also talked to my best female friend, Jepe, last night on "the new girl's" cell phone. Because of Jepe, everyone is calling me "New Girl's Name Here's Boy". And when Jepe gave the phone back to her, she said "Your boy wants to talk to you again". So, we're on the "your boy"/"your girl" basis now which is really cool. But, y'know, I'm not reading into this much or anything.

-Uber cool

More and more "whee" mixed with yet more hard liquor

I'm no alcoholic.. oh wait, isn't the first sign denial? Regardless, I haven't partied so much in such little time. 25% of the parties I've been to have been crammed into the last 2 weeks. There's another one happening tomorrow, what with it being my Dad's girlfriend's birthday tomorrow.

Incoming news: I called "the new girl" and left my phone number on her voice mail. I just got a call back, she's driving around with one of her friends that I also met while camping. He gets on the phone and says "So, you know she's my girl, right?" Joking around or not, I don't know. Then supposedly jokingly he threatens to curb stomp me next time he sees me, so I just played along, jokingly. Then the girl gets back on the phone and says "you know he was joking right?" so I said "Yeah, I was playing along".

She did say, however, that he tried touching her boob and she didn't like it. The guy says "But you let him touch your boob" and she says "Yeah, but he had my permission". It's good I know there's nothing going on between those two, but still, I don't like being threatened. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure.

-Rabbit Punch: Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A B A Start

Not something you're used to

More of the relationship thing: girls are afraid of me. Girls are so used to dating assholes and people who don't care about the girl that when they find a guy like me, they draw a blank and freak out. That's what the 'new' girl told me tonight, after I asked her if that's what she's feeling. And this is all wierd again, because she's giving me the power to make the decision. I decided there's no need to rush things, we'll see more of each other in the next month.

I was told by her that she doesn't know what to make of me. Am I someone who's just going to be like the rest of the guys and end up fucking her over in the end? Maybe I just used her last night and don't want to think any more of it, thank you ma'am. Nah, that's not me and this is putting me in the awkward position. I didn't come out here, an hour from home, an hour and a half from where I'll be going to school, looking for a relationship. But the things I did last night aren't things I'd do with just any person. So I'll see her next week when we go Mini-golfing.

I'm innocent, she used that line a lot. Sure, I'm an 18 year old virgin with a wealth of knowledge in his head. But I'm innocent none-the-less and that's another heavy burden, I suppose, that she would have to wear. You don't know how many times in the last month I've heard "I don't want to hurt you", but I heard it again tonight. Thus my decision there's no need to rush things. I understand, though, since I'm not like most guys that the girl has no idea how I'd handle a big 'dilemna'. A dilemna like a situation where they'd 'hurt' me or something like that. Because I'm nice, and nobody likes to hurt a nice guy? Taken as a complement in either way.

-Should have kissed her goodnight

Good Guy With A Good Head On His Shoulders

Last night / this morning was a whole lot of firsts for me. I won't go into detail with them, but it involves camping, a tent and a female. And yes, I'm still a virgin, but last night was the most fun I've ever had.

I got two hours sleep last night. I went to bed at 3am and nearly fell asleep at 8:30am. I *woke up* at 10:15am but only because the McDonalds food from the night before was being an asshole to my stomache. And in the 2 hours I slept, I actually slept 30 minutes of it, so I'm running on "low" right now.

Many firsts last night and it'll be the most memorable night in a long time.

-Ever

A Little Bit More 'Whee' Mixed With Some Hard Liquor

Live for the moment, never take tomorrow into concideration until tomorrow comes... and you're dry heaving over the toilet of someone else's house. So I'll stick around here at my sister's place for a few more hours, re-cooping, before I call up my friends and visit more people. After that I think I'll go home and eat food.

Wednesday I'll be back here, camping. Whee. Sucks that the person I'm here to see, she's working that night. But camping should be fun.

-McDonalds food is the best

Party Party

Ok, so maybe it's just a bunch of family sitting around drinking listening to music. I've called a friend and she's coming over to take me out drinking, on a Sunday night. Fun stuff. So she should be here any time, and I'll go out where-ever people go on a Sunday night. "We're only making plans for Nigel. Nigel's future is as good as sealed."

-Everybody smokes dope, it's alright
-I haven't

Game-A-Thon

I want one of those, where a bunch of people sit around and play video games all day long and get paid for it.

-Gamer's wrist

Still hanging around

Still alive. Got my GameCube back today, so I'm tempted to buy a game for it.

-Late night, bed time

Of Dreams

I was a bank robber and some sort of pr0skater in my dream last night. I got away from the bank robbery, and I stripped down to my normal clothes after I got away from the cops (who weren't chasing me). So I got into my normal clothes and was walking around then suddenly this commisioner and his wife caught me and pulled me into their trans-am. The cop couldn't drive standard and he was crashing into everything. After I got back to the bank, I found it was a kickboxing place, so I sparred with some hotshot little kid. I knocked him out, and his father said "Don't punch him too hard." So when I picked up the kid, he wakes up and says "Oh, cinamon buns" whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. It made sense in my dream.

-Right about then I woke up

Forgetful Me?

I left my tea tree oil soap (glycerine) in Winnipeg because I was in a hurry for the cab. So I bought another bar ($4.56) yesterday, used it once, then I forgot it at my grandparent's place. That's where I showered, and that's where I forgot it. Speak no evil... so now I'll drive 15 minutes out there, shower over there, no doubt, then come home and eat breakfast. I think my piercing looks sexy, click here, here or here if you want to see me and my piercing.

-Finally off the road, again

Home Again

Yep, I get to look forward to camping now. w00t, party party for the last time before school starts :) Hoorah and.. who am I kidding.

-It won't be the last before school starts >:-)

First kiss in three years

I've just had 6 beers in my 140 lbs body, so please forbibe me for any spelling mysakes. I got my first kissin threeyears tonight, and even though it was truth or dare, it was all good. I missed the feeling.

I had to seduce the birthday girl tonight, then I was kissed by another girl, the same girl who asked to see my penis two nights before. Then I was seduced by the girl who kissed me tonight. I've had a lot of alcohol in my body, and even though i know what happened tonight, I'm not regretting it no,w nor will I tomororw.

Just thoght I'd write this down tonight so I wouldn't forget it. I think I'ma sleep now. Hope I get to see the kissing girl later, and no, she's not the girl I came to Winnipeg to see. Sleep calls out to me.

-Hope I get to stick around Winnipeg for a while longer

Pierced

It's done. It's done. Um, it's done.

I was being made to feel nervous, I was being told I'd cry. I've always got a cool and calm exterior, that's always easy to fake. But today, when booking my appointment, and even waiting in the store to go through with it, I was calm. If anything, I was anxious to do it, and see what the big fuss was about. I invited my, erm, female friend in with me. And her guy friend as well (mind you a different guy friend than before). Because a couple weeks ago, her and I had agreed that on my visit, if she pierced something, I would too. And since she got her belly pierced a few days ago and I couldn't watch, I wanted her to watch me get my nipple pierced.

I was calm, the lady doing the piercing was joking. She said she wouldn't normally joke because that would sometimes freak the person out, but she could tell that I was ok with everything and that made her comfortable to joke. Two deep breaths and it was done; I asked if I could look at my nipple with the needle in it. It looked pretty cool like that, but I doubt that it would be a permanent thing, what with the pointy end being... pointy. So I got my hoop put in, was warned that since my nipple is so shallow, my body might push the ring up through the skin. There's no way to avoid that, other than piercing it again, deeper. Damned shallow nips.

-Again, done and done

Sandwiches

I know you want to do it, you know I want to do it too, out here on the dance floor, where we can make sandwhiches. You can be the bun, and I can be the burger, girl. I know you want to do it, so we can make sandwhiches.

So make your thighs like butter, easy to spread and we can make sandwiches out here on the dance floor.

-I know you want to do it

I won a jeep

Yes, that's right. I won a TJ Rocker last night, to use over the weekend. I went back to the bar this afternoon, withdrew $200 for a deposit and I get a "Sorry, you need a Winnipeg licence. Would you take a 12 of beer instead?". So now I've got a phat stack of cash burning a hole in my pocket, and a 12 of Molson Canadian.

Last night at the bar was quite an event. I drank a whole lot of shooters, was asked to see my penis, won and lost a jeep, got a cigarette burn on my left hand, rolled a condom onto a banana, got punched in the head... Not bad for my first time in a bar, ever. Here's what was forced down my throat:

Crystal bought me:
Vodka Paralyzer drink
Snakebite shooter
Fetus shooter

Angie bought me:
Four Horsemen shooter
Molson Canadian bottled beer
Prarie Fire shooter
Bailey/Vodka shooter (I forget the name)
Tequila with Lime shooter

Some guy who sat at our table bought everyone 2 paralyzer shooters:
Paralyzer shooter
Paralyzer shooter

I bought myself:
Tequila with no lime shooter
Tequila with no lime shooter
Tequila with no lime shooter

So that adds up to 11 shots, one beer and one drink. Over the course of 4 hours, it was all great. Today, I'm feeling fine; not dizzy, no headache, not nauseous. Not even tired for falling asleep at 6am.

-I wanted that jeep

Wants a friend in you

No update. There's stuff worth talking about, but not to a bunch of strangers like you.

-Concidered a piercing again, today

This Game Stinks

I'm feeling about this |------------------------------------| tall right now. It's like neither of us can talk to the other without saying something wrong. I'm getting upset because she is telling me that I'm making her feel guilty. And for that, I feel like an ass. I giant ass. An ass bigger than how tall I'm feeling, so it must be a long ass. Anyway, we're going out now, gotta go.

-fucking ass

Played it 'till my fingers bled

I'm having a good time... really, I am. I'm trying hard to not let my feelings get in the way. Actually, I feel like an ass, because sometimes I have this distant look in my eyes, or a twisted smile, or a blank look. Then she asks me if there's anything bothering me and I don't want to repeat myself. She's trying really hard to show me a good time and to make me smile. I think that's proof that she cares how I feel, and she agrees she has trouble showing her feelings. Anyway, I don't want to repeat myself, but what am I supposed to say? I feel like an ass because all I've been able to say is "I don't want to repeat myself, we know what it's about already."

And I'm trying, honestly, to have a good time here, and not pull any guilt trips. I'm here as a friend and that's all it is; I think it's alright that I want more. But that's where the feelings come into play, and I'm trying not to let them get the better of me. We're friends and I don't want to push that away. I'm kind of looking forward to meeting her new guy-friend.

BUT on a lighter note, here's what I did today. I was home alone, so I played guitar. I was trying to do like "The summer of 69" and play it until my fingers bled, but it didn't quite work out that way. They are, however, quite numb. OK, not numb any more, but they were. Today I learned 'Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama" and I relearned a whole bunch of other songs. '3 Doors Down - Kryptonite', 'Don McClean - American Pie', 'King of the Hill Theme', '007 Theme', 'Green Day - Time Of Your Life'.

-Not like other guys

Ass Took a Pounding

Yeah, you read that right. 32 hours on a bus and your butt would be sore from sitting, too. Especially on a wallet that's got more coin than you know what to do with it. Coin consisting of mostly pennies.

Anyway, I'm here in Winnipeg. After a rough start, everything is fine. I'm happy, she's happy (I think) and we're just friends. We cruised around town tonight with her friends, and it was fun. I'm tired, though, and it's late now so I should probably get my sore ass to bed.

-First time in three years, and it's weird

Simple Plan - I'm Just A Kid

I woke up it was 7
Waited till 11
just to figure our that no one would call
I think i got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on your own
and here it goes

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
having more fun than me

And maybe when the night is dead, i'll crawl into my bed
Staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time, I had good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own
and here it goes

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
having more fun than me

What the fuck is wrong with me?
don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
Cause every night is the worst night ever

I'm just a kid (x5)

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
having more fun than me, tonight

I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight

-Cause i'm just a kid tonight

I've Decided

I'm not boyfriend material. Yes, I'm 'fling' material. I'm good for a week or two of fun, and good fun at that. I am not, however, good for long term relationships unless they are binding. It's proven, I'm husband material. Except that I've never been a husband. So there you have it, I'm husband material, and almost 19 years old. Well, that's what others say about me, anyway.

-Um, yeah and, uh... yeah, whatever

After some thought

It'd be pretty selfish of me to deny myself, and her, from any opportunities that might occur. I think I wrote something about me wishing on a star, that I hadn't wished on a star in years, but I just had to that one night. Here's what I wished: I wish our relationship is pure gold. That's it, word for word, just replace "our" with "mine and (her name here)'s". Tonight, I made another wish, and I hope this one does come true. I wished her the best of happiness in anything she chooses to do. And I hope my upcoming visit with her isn't going to be totally strange. At least now we're friends, before we had just been minor acquaintances who talked on the phone 2 or 3 times a year. And I still look forward to a possible future with her, if and when we're both ready.

-Much happier now I know what's been going on

It's not like my heart is broken or anything... just chipped a little

So why does it hurt so much. I thought I had found the one girl I could be with for a long long time. I probably shouldn't say this kind of stuff, though, for fear that I'll make myself look like an ass to her. She says she feels like an ass, but she sounds so empty when she says it. Like none of this bothers her. Which goes to show how into making this work, I was. She says there's hope for later, that we will always have 'later'. But, she says, I could be married by then. What the fuck good does that do to me? I really shouldn't be so broken by this. So why does it hurt so much.

Now there's no first kiss. There's no cuddling on the couch. There's no falling asleep together. There's no holding hands. There's just me knowing that she's going to be dating other guys over the course of the next year. We can always have 'later' but I'm afraid of later. We talked about that, once. We were afraid that we would both find partners and that we'd never end up together. It was all a facade, I assume. This is twice I've been broken in the same way, a little more than a year apart from each other. So why does this hurt so much.

-We'll always have our moment
-Soul mates? I can only hope

Blink 182 - Girl At The Rock Show

Black and white picture of her on my wall
I waited for her call, she always kept me waiting
And if I ever got another chance I'd still ask her to dance
Because she kept me waiting

-She's so cool, gonna sneak in through her window

Back in the saddle

I made it home last night, on a Tuesday. "Henry" didn't like it too much, seeing how it was late and all. I think it was a good trip, though we could have been home sooner if we drove more and ate less. It got me thinking of my own roadtrip, with a friend. It's not a bad drive... going one way. Knowing that I'd have to go back the other way soon after kinda frightens me because it's a long trip. 2725 miles from Georgia to where I live in BC.

I'm home now, anyway. I got my visiting done today, my sisters, grandparents, family friends, etc. I had to see them all before I leave in a couple days on my vacation to Winnipeg. Yeah, I'll call it a vacation. But I have a habit of working on vacations, so it's not like I'm going to be a lazy ass or anything. I wrote down a "journal" along the way home. "Henry" was calling it my diary, but it's just three white pieces of paper with words on it. That's what I do, that's why I blog. I write down whatever I'm thinking and whatever I'm feeling. Though, I didn't write down my thoughts for myself. No, I wrote everything down for my sweetheart. Hehe, calling her that put a good smile to my face. Anywya, I wrote it for her. So she knows that I thought of her along the way home.

4 days until I'm on the bus. Well, today, being Wednesday, then Thursday, Friday, get on the bus early Saturday morning. Then be there Sunday at dinner time. Unless... unless it's all good that I get on the Friday bus, then I could be there Saturday. But it's all her decision. I can't wait to see her. And here I go again, in deep thought and she'll probably get all scared and run away yelling "You scare me, you freak" because I think about her once in a while. Whee, isn't an over-active imagination fun? I guess it's all about insecurities, which I've had a few of lately. I'm, and this is what I told Delothermum. I'm high-strung, have high-anxiety and I'm on a high stress level right now. She said "Join the club, you should come with me".

Delothermum going to visit her parents tonight, but won't be back until Monday. That would be no good for me, I'll be in Winnipeg on Monday. And it's going to be alllll good. Good good good good. I think I'm going to play some guitar now: Blink 182 - Going Away To College

-I don't want this to be a passing phase
-I've never been good for following trends
-I hope it's the real thing
-I'm always careful with the things I say