Just noticed

MSN Hotmail has increased storage capacity. They now allow 250MB of storage per user for a base account, and their plus offers 2GB of storage. Meh, I've already got gMail so I've no use for MSN plus.

On a side note, my girlfriend is driving a sexy Toyota Echo Hatchback with a spoiler et al.

-Schmoove

Circus Freak

Balancing act. Get it? Clowns in a circus sometimes balance things, like plates, on big sticks. Balancing act... circus... clowns.

So I feel like a jackass. My girlfriend has been great to me only deserving of praise, and behold! she reads a blog from September 21 that had me venting my frustration about the two of us. I'd since forgotten about it; I'm sure anyone reading this and familiar with blogs can understand how it feels to write something down and get the frustration off your chest. It was history to me, just a record of what happened and now in the past. She was hurt by it, and rightfully so. I had written some pretty harsh stuff.
But the thing is, it means nothing to me now. I'm feeling good, she was feeling good. Now I'm feeling pretty bad because what I had written really hurt her. So for that, hun, I'm sorry. I'll be careful with what I write and I'll come to you if I have any serious problems, rather than turning to my blog and broadcasting it to the world.

-Don't go looking for it, I've removed the post

What's going on?

My girlfriend has an appointment (or something to do) tomorrow at 10:15am and when I asked, curiously, what it was she said she couldn't tell me. Weird. I try to ask her again, she says she'll tell me later. Odd behaviour. She got mad, thought I had snooped around in her papers and stuff trying to find out what is going on tomorrow. I've got no idea; after getting slightly irritated I decided that 'what the hell', if she doesn't want to tell me then she has her reason. Maybe it's something that will benefit me in a pleasurable way?

I'd been reminded, through this situation, that things aren't always what they seem. You see, I'd received my 'Zen Flesh Zen Bones' book and thought of one of the quips I'd read today. It was of a painter who charged an exhorbitant fee for his paintings. A geisha had hired him to paint something and said she'd pay any price. The man charged her the most he'd ever, which she did actually pay to the man. She commented to her friend that the man cared only for money and asked for another painting. Again, the man asked for a large sum, which he was paid. Unbeknowest to everyone that the man used the money to stock-pile grain for the village he was from. The village was frequently struck with plague and famine for which the man freely gave away the grain. As well, the man's master never saw the realization of his dream of a temple completed. The painter used the rest of the money to construct the temple. After doing so, the man never touched a paint brush again.

-Puts things in perspective

Wonder of books

I love books. If I had an easily replenishable source of currency I'd be buying books. I'd ordered a text book online, for school, at the beginning of September. I got the book the day before the class started; the book came in mint condition and I bought it used! I had such a great experience (it was my first time every buying something online) that I bought another book through the same retailer. I got my "Schematics of Computation" book in record time, so I ordered "Zen Flesh Zen Bones -- 1968 edition" soon after. The description was "like new" so we'll see when it gets here. I paid $1.44 for it plus shipping and handling which brought the book to just over $10 and the import fee I'll have to undoubtedly pay as it's coming from Michigan.

It's addicting, I really want to buy more online. I was thinking a RubicsCube from Ebay or something... but I need to know when to stop. I could buy a RubicsCube at Toys'r'us only 5 minutes from here, and that comes with a Rubics study guide to help solve the cube.

Work starts tomorrow. I'd finished my summer research project and took a couple weeks to relax before school. Now in addition to continuing my research, I'm working as a lab monitor around campus as well. My first shift is a three hour shift tomorrow that ends at 5pm. You know I'm just going to be sitting in front of a computer playing Medievia (Arrecobn of Crimson Rose, Town 2) trying to get someone to walk me through the catacombs so I can get my 38 comb eggs and level to 28. I've been ready to level for almost a week now.

I cooked an awesome dinner tonight. Philly Cheese Steak Sandwiches. My girlfriend was very pleased, and I was pleased to see that she was pleased. Godamn I need to get that Zen book and fast. "Expect Nothing" is the motto I'm trying to grind into myself. Oh, road trip this Thursday. I'm skipping Thursday to Monday to drive 10 hours to a wedding for my girlfriend. She's the maid of honor, she's got to be there. So I'm going to try to make the best of it.

-Another time I should be in bed but I can't bring myself to lay there right now

School Ties

It's the day after Labor Day and you know what that means: Back to school today, except I don't really have to go. My first class (and only class) starts at 2:30, ending at 3:50 but today is 'orientation day' meaning if you're not a first year student then don't show up because you already know what the hell you are doing. I've got to go to campus today to fill out some paperwork so they can start paying me for my services to the school, ie, lab monitoring. I've got two shifts a week (Monday and Tuesday) for a total of 5 hours. On top of that I can put in a maximum 15 hours a week working on my moth project for my calculus prof.

-Meet you at the quad

Fsck the System

I had borrowed 4 library books from the regional library a few weeks ago. Yesterday they were due back, so I renewed them all. All except one, it had a hold on it. Fair enough, I thought. It's late, I'll bring it in and pay the late fee. Well, I drop it off, returning it. I then wander the library trying to find something that might interest me. Know what I found on the shelf? The same book that I couldn't renew because it had a hold on it. The book was returned late and I was being fined meanwhile the book they wanted was already in store and on their shelf. Know what else? When I asked "Could you remove that late charge, please?" with an explanation they gave me a venerable "fsck you and have a good day".

-Some people's children with mullets

Working Late

I slacked a bit today at work, but never fear because I am working late. I've just finished my rough presentation for the UBC seminar this Wednesday. I've got to polish it up some tomorrow in front of my fellow students and professor.

*Sidenote* Hehehe, one of my cats was just sneaking along the heater that runs along the floor on the wall. The cat was sneaking around behind the entertainment centre, which I didn't like. I stuck my head down there trying to get her out but she wasn't budging. So I blew at her, which she didn't like, I guess. It scared the piss out of her and she booked it out the other side. I think she may be staying away from there from now on.

So my girlfriend just started a new job, congratulations to her. The downside to that, I leave tomorrow at 4pm and she doesn't get off work until 5pm. The job she works at restricts her from seeing me, so I won't get to see her again until I get home Wednesday (or Thursday) evening. G'night to you all.

-Wish me luck

Sleeplessness (forced)

It's 12:40 am and I'm out of bed. I spent the last 40 minutes reading D.B. Weiss' novel Lucky Wander Boy. I'm tired, and I should be in bed. I've got another day of work ahead of me tomorrow.

As per usual, I tell you when I've started playing Medievia again. I ditched my mage, Cimn, choosing to start over as a cleric, Arrecobn. I play it at work, and it does prove to be a distraction at times. Which leads me to my next topic.

Work; I'm tired of it now. I'm stressed by it. I've got 3 days of actual work left before I'm finished for the summer. The other two days are reserved for my seminar at UBC and the drive home the day after. I'm stressed because I've got so much work to do and no time to do it. My professor hired me for my programming skills and at different times along the way she took it upon herself to add activities and responsibilities to my workload. Now I'm expected to write a report (approx. 5-8 pages) on my findings thus far, as well as the short speech to give at UBC.

However, this is not the most stressful part of my job. No, I've also got to use the program I've created to cultivate data. On top of that, I'm also the one who analyzes the data. I think this should be left in the hands of my professor as she's the mathematician. She knows Matlab, the program used to analyze the data; I, however, do not.

Today (Thursday) I was supposed to run the program 100 times with 500 moths each time and 5 traps, using a different seed every session. To do that would have taken 8 hours 20 minutes alone. A bash script was written to run the 100 sessions automatically/consecutively so I could play Medievia. My work day is 7 hours long, so I didn't get any work done today. Now I'm stressing that I'm going to get in shit for that when I get in to work and she sees what was done. Maybe I won't tell her about the script.

-And I should sleep or I'm going to be mean tomorrow

The hating game

God must hate me, it's as simple as that. My girlfriend has been looking at rings for some time, and I think she's expecting one from me. We'd agreed on a ring that was obviously better than the rest, a nice gold one with 8 diamonds on the outside and a larger one in the middle.

The store had declined both her and I in-store credit cards, so why did I get one in the mail, a week later, with a huge (over $1000) credit limit? Without her knowing, I left work early one day to make my purchase. The store did have a "we pay the taxes" sale a couple days previous, I was only slightly disappointed when the sale was over. The difference would have only been ~$34 anyway.

I'd bought the ring July 9. The idea was that I was going to leave the ring in the store in the repair drawer so when I was ready to present the ring, I'd just have to pick it up. Also, my girlfriend wouldn't find any evidence of it at home, except maybe a receipt for jewelry repair (which she didn't).

However, and this is where the god-hating-me part comes in, she and I were at the mall again yesterday and we visited the store. Of course she notices the ring was missing, but she'd noticed two weeks before and I'd already planted the idea that I was disappointed and would find another ring for her, or maybe they'd order another ring like it. Well, we were there yesterday and they were having a fscking %30 off sale. ARG. And the person that sold me the ring, the sales person my girlfriend wanted us to buy the ring from, was working. He played it cool, not mentioning the ring. I, however, mentioned the sale in as much an inconspicuous WTF manner as possible. The salesperson laughed and said, "Oh, you missed the %50 off sale!"

Bastard better have been joking about that. If I didn't have my girlfriend there, I'd have asked him for the difference on the spot, saving me the trouble of having to bring the ring back with its 30 day money-back return policy. Getting all the cash back and then buying it again at discounted price. My girlfriend is worth every penny that I paid, but her birthday is coming up here and that extra cash could have bought her 1/3 a bed set, or almost two diamond stud ear-rings.

I'd picked up the ring over a week ago to give to my girl, but it's going back today. I hope they save me the trouble of having to return it and buy it again. And don't even get me started about not having given it to her yet. I know, I've had two weeks. Well, there hasn't been a perfect time yet. Last night would have been perfect but... well, don't even get me started on that. Let's just say the dinner I had planned got fscked when her Dad told us to babysit her brother all night.

-Don't be a hater

I'd like a plate of work please, with a side of work. Thanks

Summer Reading:
. Dungeons and Dreamers: From Geek to Chic: The Rise of Computer Gaming Culture
. Dragonlance "Dragon's Of" Chronicles
. The More Than Complete Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
. Java 2 Game Programming
. Lucky Wander Boy
. The Art of War

Dungeons and Dreamers was a great read. It took about 5 days to read, reading whenever you have a chance. If you're interested in the history of video games and the direction it is headed (or are a fan of Richard Garriott of Ultima Fame -- aka Lord British) then give it a read.

Dragonlance - "Dragons Of" series. I'd read this series way back in elementary school. There were three books to it back then, I think there are 4 to it now. I admit, I started reading it again, but couldn't get much further than 3/4 the way through the first novel. It went back to the library and I never borrowed it again.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy was a good read. I'm not terribly satisfied with my experience, however. The author, Douglas Adams (RIP), leaves so many loose ends I can't remember many details of any major events afterward. And when I can remember details, I think, what was the point of that? It did nothing for the plot! But I digress, it was an entertaining read. I just wish it satisfied more.

Java 2 Game Programming is my project this summer. It's what I'm doing, besides work, to keep my brain fresh for when I start school. I'm about 1/4 through the book and it's really opening my eyes.

Lucky Wander Boy is yellow. The book, that is. It's the story of a man who, as a youth, played games. Lots of games. This is his story of how he's reliving his past through the reclaimation of one of the games that 'rocked his world' so many years ago: Lucky Wander Boy. At least that's more or less the excerpt. I bought the book for it's gaming and eBay references. I hope it's good.

The Art of War is the last book on my list. Well, not really a book. I'm going to read it off the interweb, but it does come in book form.

-If I didn't have to work, I'd be finished the list and it'd be longer

In my head

Bleach: I'm wearing a Spider-man shirt that used to have red highlights around the collar and sleeves. Used to be red.

Root-beer: Good stuff.

Rain: Nice when it's been hot out.

Linux: The most ecstatic feeling of success... when the friggen thing actually works.

I've been trying to get SWARM working on the work laptop because of two presentations I have to make on Tuesday. One is a meeting with Agri-Foods Canada, the other is with UBC executives touring our campus.

The best thing about UBC executives touring the campus -> They hold their meetings in the building I work in. Their meetings are catered. Therefor when no one is looking, I get lunch.

-Free food

A little late

Happy Belated Birthday, Canada.

-fireworks

G-Mail pwns

I love G-Mail. The "Label" feature is great. And highlighting mail with stars and the 1000MB of storage. It's awesome.

EDIT: Whoa, type "google" without the .com or .ca in the link bar

-wooooo

McDonald's

"If you believe in magic,
and I hope you do!
You'll always have a friend
wearing big red shoes!
If you believe in magic."

Remember that song? It holds a much more magical place in my heart than the newer 'hipper' "Baduh buh buh buh... I'm loving it" crap they've got going now. And where is Ronald, Grimace, Birdy, Hamburgler, Fry-Guys, the Pirate Dude, etc ? You probably don't even remember the Pirate guy. Yeah, they offed him years ago, and it's only in recent years that the rest of the gang have been ousted a job.

-I just thought I'd bring that to your attention

Election Day

I don't usually name names but I live in a country and you know which country that is. Therefore you would already know who's running for Prime Minister. I can't say I was too excited about voting, but my girlfriend made a big deal about it. Funny thing was, I think she just wanted to vote for the sake of voting. Before we'd looked into the parties and decided who we should best vote for, it seemed like she was ready to pick her poison and check a box.

After some thought, I decided I didn't really like the direction Canada has turned in the last 10 years. You know, that's half my life right there. That direction is the effect of Liberal control. It's the Liberals who'd lifted the tuition freeze on my University and caused me to pay 100s of % more $$$ than people years before me. I heard people used to be able to attend school at $300 a semester. Myself, taking 5 courses with respective labs, I pay $1400+.

Back to politics. Liberals are going to get what they deserve. The Conservative group, well, the guy looks like he's wearing a plastic mask and too much mascara. That and he wants to turn our country into a war-manger like our constituents to the south. They want to fight our wars, that's great, let them. We've got them to fight our wars for us.

NDP. Good old NDP, they raised minimum wage by almost $1 back when I first started working. That was great, I like you NDP. Now please, do something about my tuition and you've got my vote.

-New Canada

What is there to say?

Not much motivation today, it's been a sleepy time lately. I've finished writing my program, at least most of it, mostly. I've still got a couple things to do with it, like.... wait a minute. I probably haven't really explained all of what the program does.

Here's the poop:

I was 'contracted' by a professor of mine to program a simulation for her. She, herself, was hired by Agri-Foods Canada (a goverment agency) to come up with a mathematical model of codling moths and their behavior with and without traps. I haven't actually seen or heard anything of her research but I trust she's been doing her job. Insofar, I've been doing mine.

Back on topic, my professor hired me to write a model of the moths and their behavior in the presence and non-presence of pheromone traps. Starting around the second week of May, I've now nearly completed the program.

The moths I've created in the program respond to pheromone plumes created by the traps I've created. The traps are placed in a networked fashion across a grid of specified length and width. You can choose to place the traps every 100 'meters' or '50' or any other number you may come up with, providing it is a whole number.

The traps dispense pheromone, which reacts accordingly with the weather about it. If the wind is blowing from the east to the west, the pheromone is stretched to the left, the trap placement is no longer centered in the pheromone; the pheromone is now placed farther to the left of the trap. The area remains the same regardless the shape of the pheromone.

Moths, when in a pheromone plume, sniff out areas of higher concentration. If they are interested, the moth then moves itself to occupy a space of higher concentration. The test continues until the moth has either found the trap or 'escaped' the pheromone plume.

If a moth maneuvers its way to a trap it then runs the test to see if it becomes trapped or not. To be as accurate to life as possible, the program still needs to be tweaked so only about %5 of the moths actually get trapped. Then we as researchers can tweak the strength of the trap and experiment with that.

-I've lost my train of thought

I'm a freaking clown

Chock up another one for the clutz life. My girlfriend just had me file her feet, and like a good boyfriend I agreed to do it. So I'm filing away, periodically knocking the collected dust off the file. I figure this is how I'm supposed to be doing it, and I was right, she does the same. However, the file has never snapped in half when she's ever used it. Yeah, the file was waiting for me to handle it before it called the penalty and snapped in half with a tell-tale 'snap' (literative, aren't I).

I laughed and joked about it. She got mad, then started laughing herself. Composure regained, though, she told me she didn't want to laugh. Now she's pissed (not really, but she has to act some way and it won't be in my favor). It's not going to be a good night tonight.

Maybe it would have gone better if I hadn't...

-broken a plate while washing dishes this afternoon

G-Mail

I just activated my G-Mail account. It's pretty nifty (Google is going to get their advertising worth out of me). 'baaad seplling werd' typed in and click "check spelling" red underlines all the mispelled words. When you click a word, a list pops up with suggestions as to the correct spelling. That is a very nifty feature, rather than going through one word at a time.

So my blog e-mail address is now changed to my G-Mail

-More as the mail comes in

I'm a clutz

You'd think my feet were skis and I had a tire around my belly and my hands were made of unfeeling metal.

-Just thought you'd like to know

Late night mind-not-sleeping-ness

I'm laying in bed and my mind is just not shutting off. Now is as good a time as any to share my thoughts. First of all, I'd really like to thank my Dad for always supporting me and taking an interest in what I'm interested in. You listened to me rave about my scuba classes. You helped me out with my first (and subsequently only) guitar and amp and gig-bag. You're the reason I graduated in the top 10 percent of my highschool class. And now, thank you for supporting me with my programming. You bought me a book and saved me money, and now I can bring myself to the next level. This is early, but happy father's day.

Next off, I was laying in bed thinking about my long-term gaming project. I did tell you it was a game I've been working on, I believe. Forget about the moths, I've been doing the game longer. School, and now work, have taken away the time I'd use toward it, but I learn more every day. I learn more through work and through theory, and I make my game a little more in my head each day. The book my Dad has bought me will greatly boost me.

Second, how about that Interplay thing? Crazy, really. I've been reading IGDA's Quality of Life White Paper and BAM here's a prime example of what you really need to watch for. I hope Interplay makes a comeback, but what the hell is this not paying employees for a month business. The rent is past due, employees don't have health insurance and you still owe Bioware over $150k for Baldurs Gate. Good on you for thinking positively, though. Come back and maybe you can hire me.

-This life or the next. You know, whenever you come around to it