Not something you're used to

More of the relationship thing: girls are afraid of me. Girls are so used to dating assholes and people who don't care about the girl that when they find a guy like me, they draw a blank and freak out. That's what the 'new' girl told me tonight, after I asked her if that's what she's feeling. And this is all wierd again, because she's giving me the power to make the decision. I decided there's no need to rush things, we'll see more of each other in the next month.

I was told by her that she doesn't know what to make of me. Am I someone who's just going to be like the rest of the guys and end up fucking her over in the end? Maybe I just used her last night and don't want to think any more of it, thank you ma'am. Nah, that's not me and this is putting me in the awkward position. I didn't come out here, an hour from home, an hour and a half from where I'll be going to school, looking for a relationship. But the things I did last night aren't things I'd do with just any person. So I'll see her next week when we go Mini-golfing.

I'm innocent, she used that line a lot. Sure, I'm an 18 year old virgin with a wealth of knowledge in his head. But I'm innocent none-the-less and that's another heavy burden, I suppose, that she would have to wear. You don't know how many times in the last month I've heard "I don't want to hurt you", but I heard it again tonight. Thus my decision there's no need to rush things. I understand, though, since I'm not like most guys that the girl has no idea how I'd handle a big 'dilemna'. A dilemna like a situation where they'd 'hurt' me or something like that. Because I'm nice, and nobody likes to hurt a nice guy? Taken as a complement in either way.

-Should have kissed her goodnight