Played it 'till my fingers bled

I'm having a good time... really, I am. I'm trying hard to not let my feelings get in the way. Actually, I feel like an ass, because sometimes I have this distant look in my eyes, or a twisted smile, or a blank look. Then she asks me if there's anything bothering me and I don't want to repeat myself. She's trying really hard to show me a good time and to make me smile. I think that's proof that she cares how I feel, and she agrees she has trouble showing her feelings. Anyway, I don't want to repeat myself, but what am I supposed to say? I feel like an ass because all I've been able to say is "I don't want to repeat myself, we know what it's about already."

And I'm trying, honestly, to have a good time here, and not pull any guilt trips. I'm here as a friend and that's all it is; I think it's alright that I want more. But that's where the feelings come into play, and I'm trying not to let them get the better of me. We're friends and I don't want to push that away. I'm kind of looking forward to meeting her new guy-friend.

BUT on a lighter note, here's what I did today. I was home alone, so I played guitar. I was trying to do like "The summer of 69" and play it until my fingers bled, but it didn't quite work out that way. They are, however, quite numb. OK, not numb any more, but they were. Today I learned 'Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama" and I relearned a whole bunch of other songs. '3 Doors Down - Kryptonite', 'Don McClean - American Pie', 'King of the Hill Theme', '007 Theme', 'Green Day - Time Of Your Life'.

-Not like other guys